She had 1.7 pints of semen pumped from her stomach by medics
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On the record – mighty sex feats
An Italian prostitute has recently claimed that Silvio Berlusconi is a sexual record breaker. In her book ‘Take Your Pleasure, Prime Minister’, Patrizia D'Addario described a relationship she alleges having with the notorious PM, writing: "We kissed an infinite number of times, with him above all kissing my intimate parts - he could get into the Guinness Book of Records".
Sadly no invigilator was present to verify Berlusconi’s incredible feat of cunninlingus so we’ll have to take the lady’s word for it. But it would be one of the tamer record breaking sex acts which tend to come in the Why Would You Even Do That? category.
Take, Michelle Monahan, for instance. This Los Angeles gal became infamous when she had 1.7 pints of semen pumped from her stomach by medics, in 1991. Give that the average ejaculation contains just 2.75 ml of sperm, that’s the output of approximately 170 men (or one small elephant).
We have no idea how Michelle managed to consume so much, perhaps she’s just greedy. Or maybe she was helping with target practice for Horst Schultz who managed to shoot his load an astounding distance of 18 feet and 9 inches. Not only does he hold the length record but the height record too, reaching 12 feet and four inches into the sky. He also lays claim to having the fastest ejaculation, firing off at 42.7 mph (though to put it in perspective, a sneeze leaves your nostrils at around 100 mph, so he’s in no danger of taking someone’s eye out at that velocity.)
Sex is, of course, far more fun when it’s done with other people. But 499 other people? In 2006, a Japanese adult film company released the catchily titled ‘500 Person Sex’ (it probably sounds more romantic in its original language) which featured a record breaking 250-couple orgy. However, each couple stayed monogamously with each other and performed their acts in disciplined synchronisation with the others. We’re pretty sure the same effect could’ve been achieved by one couple doing it in a house of mirrors.
The record for the most sexual partners in 24 hours is hotly contested. It’s currently held by US porn star Ms Sparxxx who, in 2004, made her parents (Mr & Mrs Sparxxx) very proud when she won the Third Annual World Gangbang Championship, in Poland. Competing against two other girls, Sparxxx claimed victory at 8:47 pm, with a fanny-busting final tally of 919 men (abandoning her plan to make it to 1000). Gangbanging is not currently recognised as an Olympic sport.
All of these achievements take great dedication and lots of practice but some are “lucky” enough to make it into the sexual record books by accident of birth. While you might imagine the owner of the biggest penis would make himself known, there’s actually little data existing about such things (possibly because all men lie about it). The largest recorded member is a sadly anonymous todger of 13.5 inches long, measured by a Dr Robert L. Dickinson (yes, he’s heard all the jokes).
The identity of the owner of the smallest knob is also unknown (unsurprisingly). His winkie was just one centimetre. How cute! This is not to be confused with the medical condition known as micropenis (yes, really) where the organ actually resides inside the body. Some men also suffer from hypoplasia which results in the head of the penis being attached directly to the body, with no shaft. We’ll stick to using cold weather as an excuse.
At least those fellas still have their old fellas. The enemies of Egyptian King Menephta weren’t so lucky as the ruler chose to celebrate his victories in battle by chopping off the choppers of the defeated soldiers. In 1300 BC, he returned home from war with a staggering collection of 13,000 severed penis. And like most collectors he was fastidious with his cataloguing, detailing to whom each pecker had belonged on a monument that can be seen to this day in Karnak
Cut-off cocks are one thing but we’re sure that what you all really want to know is who has the largest knockers? Thankfully, this one isn’t deemed too rude to go in the Guinness Book of Records and so we can reveal that the title is held by 51-year-old Annie-Hawkins Turner whose boobs weigh 35 lbs and require a 56WW bra (and presumably several tons of scaffolding). Thanks to her ample bosom Annie has become something of a film star, though you may know her better by her glamorous stage name: Norma Stitz. As the late, great Roy Castle used to sing: she’s a record breaker, yeah!
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On the record – mighty sex feats
An Italian prostitute has recently claimed that Silvio Berlusconi is a sexual record breaker. In her book ‘Take Your Pleasure, Prime Minister’, Patrizia D'Addario described a relationship she alleges having with the notorious PM, writing: "We kissed an infinite number of times, with him above all kissing my intimate parts - he could get into the Guinness Book of Records".
Sadly no invigilator was present to verify Berlusconi’s incredible feat of cunninlingus so we’ll have to take the lady’s word for it. But it would be one of the tamer record breaking sex acts which tend to come in the Why Would You Even Do That? category.
Take, Michelle Monahan, for instance. This Los Angeles gal became infamous when she had 1.7 pints of semen pumped from her stomach by medics, in 1991. Give that the average ejaculation contains just 2.75 ml of sperm, that’s the output of approximately 170 men (or one small elephant).
We have no idea how Michelle managed to consume so much, perhaps she’s just greedy. Or maybe she was helping with target practice for Horst Schultz who managed to shoot his load an astounding distance of 18 feet and 9 inches. Not only does he hold the length record but the height record too, reaching 12 feet and four inches into the sky. He also lays claim to having the fastest ejaculation, firing off at 42.7 mph (though to put it in perspective, a sneeze leaves your nostrils at around 100 mph, so he’s in no danger of taking someone’s eye out at that velocity.)
Sex is, of course, far more fun when it’s done with other people. But 499 other people? In 2006, a Japanese adult film company released the catchily titled ‘500 Person Sex’ (it probably sounds more romantic in its original language) which featured a record breaking 250-couple orgy. However, each couple stayed monogamously with each other and performed their acts in disciplined synchronisation with the others. We’re pretty sure the same effect could’ve been achieved by one couple doing it in a house of mirrors.
The record for the most sexual partners in 24 hours is hotly contested. It’s currently held by US porn star Ms Sparxxx who, in 2004, made her parents (Mr & Mrs Sparxxx) very proud when she won the Third Annual World Gangbang Championship, in Poland. Competing against two other girls, Sparxxx claimed victory at 8:47 pm, with a fanny-busting final tally of 919 men (abandoning her plan to make it to 1000). Gangbanging is not currently recognised as an Olympic sport.
All of these achievements take great dedication and lots of practice but some are “lucky” enough to make it into the sexual record books by accident of birth. While you might imagine the owner of the biggest penis would make himself known, there’s actually little data existing about such things (possibly because all men lie about it). The largest recorded member is a sadly anonymous todger of 13.5 inches long, measured by a Dr Robert L. Dickinson (yes, he’s heard all the jokes).
The identity of the owner of the smallest knob is also unknown (unsurprisingly). His winkie was just one centimetre. How cute! This is not to be confused with the medical condition known as micropenis (yes, really) where the organ actually resides inside the body. Some men also suffer from hypoplasia which results in the head of the penis being attached directly to the body, with no shaft. We’ll stick to using cold weather as an excuse.
At least those fellas still have their old fellas. The enemies of Egyptian King Menephta weren’t so lucky as the ruler chose to celebrate his victories in battle by chopping off the choppers of the defeated soldiers. In 1300 BC, he returned home from war with a staggering collection of 13,000 severed penis. And like most collectors he was fastidious with his cataloguing, detailing to whom each pecker had belonged on a monument that can be seen to this day in Karnak
Cut-off cocks are one thing but we’re sure that what you all really want to know is who has the largest knockers? Thankfully, this one isn’t deemed too rude to go in the Guinness Book of Records and so we can reveal that the title is held by 51-year-old Annie-Hawkins Turner whose boobs weigh 35 lbs and require a 56WW bra (and presumably several tons of scaffolding). Thanks to her ample bosom Annie has become something of a film star, though you may know her better by her glamorous stage name: Norma Stitz. As the late, great Roy Castle used to sing: she’s a record breaker, yeah!
You may also be interested in:
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