Home Secretary Jacqui Smith’s future seems to be in doubt after she tried to claim the cost of two adult films her husband watched on expenses. Why should the taxpayer cover the cost of his adult package the newspapers cry? Well we at Playboy don’t mind what he does with his package and we’d like to offer all MPs and their husbands a special VIP subscription to Playboy known as the ‘Jacq off special.’ 

After a hard days voting on legislation, lunching and talking to Gordon Brown what better way is there to relax than a quality adult film on the Playboy channel? The Cabinet isn’t the only thing that benefits from a shuffle every now and then. There is also valuable family research the Smith’s can conduct on Playboy, including what their second cousin Anna Nicole got up to in her fascinating life.

It’s about time MPs and their partners stopped thinking adult channels are a ‘mistake’ or being ‘humiliated’ (well, that is catered for in a different way); they should celebrate the adult entertainment we provide! We’ll make MPs subscriptions cheaper and even bill them under the title of ‘entertainment’ or ‘personal trainer.’